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Ramblings from a 17 year old Rose...
I think I really read that (or it clicked for me) for the first time a couple days ago. Just how much I want to know Christ not just know about him. And it's terrifying taking this desire of Paul's as my own because I have no clue what that will mean for me...I don't know how many relationships will break. I don't know how many times I'll be shoved out of my comfort zone. I don't know if I'll always believe in Christ or if I'll wander, and if I do for how long. I don't know how many people will hate me or look down on me for my faith. I don't know how many times I'll fail him. I don't know if I'll ever get married or if I'll ever have kids, and if I do how terrifying it must be to bring life that depends on you into the world. I don't know if I'll be on the missions field or my parents basement. I really have no clue. But I know that I can trust him, i know that he knows everything every crush, every heartbreak, every tear, every joy, ever worry, every battle, every mistake, every repentance, every laugh, every passion, every love, every friendship, every strength, every weakness, every victory, every crisis, every loss, every gain, every pain, every comfort. I know that he is worth it all. I know that I can't value anything above my relationship with him. I know that if I do wander he will bring me back. I know that whatever happens it is for my good even if it's painful or confusing or devastating. I know that he will get me through. I know that he cares about little old me so much that he sent his son to die and to be resurrected and if he didn't withhold his son, a part of himself then why would he withhold things of less value? And I know that there is power in his death and resurrection and he can and will work through me to bring that power to others, not because of anything that I've done or who I am but because of what he's already done and who he will always be. And I can find my comfort and strength in that even when the voices try to drown it out.

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