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  AUNT-HOOD.     I am so thankful for the thing that is aunthood. I have learned so much about others, Lord, the world and my place in it through this lovely bizarre thing. For those who don't know I have 20 nieces and nephews. My first nephew was born when I was 7. People kept nagging me about it which I was both pleased and annoyed with. Did I think it was weird? How'd I feel about it? What did I want to be called? Aunt, Ant? Um neither. Please. So weird. Then this little kid was born.   Cael. A shock of black hair. Freckles. I loved and love him so. I took pictures with my first ever Kodac camera. Man his skin was pink! So thankful that humourous, affectionate, passionately intense, class clown goofball of a now 14-year old (WHAT.EVEN.) was born. Really starting to live up to his nick-name..Caelman. Gives SUCH good hugs. The first to make me an Aunt. Aunt Rose, Aunt Rosie. Now two of the most beloved words in my life. ...
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         An exert from my ask for partners in my attempt to get to Thailand. I was told by a friend and I agree that I should turn it into a picture book :) ...Hello Dearest Friends, I've been told by people wiser than me that I need to vision cast ...which makes me feel a little like a magician..I'm basically Genny Weasly guys.. ok!   ANYWHO. Are y'all comfortable? Can you see the pictures? Did you get your snacks? Just be careful, it's really hard to get crumbs out of that rug...ok. Let's begin. Once upon the beginning of time, God and people and animals all loved each other not just well, but perfectly. Peace on earth did once exist. SHALOM. My favorite word. I like to think we could see all the colors, just like hummingbirds, but cooler. Speakin...
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You As In Me. you poor introvert soul you worry wort you need something somebody your body to remind you there  are things that happen outside of your  mind that are outside  of your control
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Rambles from a 18 year old Rose... There's a bitterness so far back in my mind that I don't see it often, but it's there lying static. On one hand  I don't think it's growing, though on the other I don't want it there at all. I don't want it to affect my decisions and how I interact with the people in my life. My anxiety, (as I call it because I don't know what else to call it) my need to have it all together is not healthy. I've always wanted to have something to struggle with so I can seem heroic in the middle of my struggle. That desire has caused me to think of my anxiety as fine, because I get to be the romantic sufferget without doing any harm to others. I get to have something interesting to tell others, something to set me apart or make people look at me with respect. Like a kid with cancer. That's so messed up. I think that ignoring my need for help is one way to play out that desire while also trying not to affect other people wi...
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Rambles from an 18 Year old Rose... "Perfect".  We all strive to reach perfection whether consciously or not. Most of us have an idea of what we think perfect looks like. Whether perfect is being fit, getting your driver's license the second it's legal, having a steady job, a summer tan; or having hundreds of followers on Instagram, a couple of inseparable friends, the ability to throw a football with ease, an A+, a shiny car, the cutest boyfriend, and acceptation to an ivy league school. Everyone knows those people who seem to meet or actually exceed these expectations. The people who manage to make even their mistakes seem flawless. The cliches abound on how "no-one's perfect", with the contradicting "everyone is perfect just the way they are" following close behind.  But let's face it. Some people are more talented, more attractive, more athletic, more responsible, more spiritual, more "perfect". However we as Christians ne...
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A Letter from 17 Year old Rose to a Waverly...          Where to start? I guess I'll go back about a year to when I first read a book that changed how I think about me and God. The book was Trees Tall as Mountains, a collection of blog posts by Rachel Rae. She's a mom of 3 in her late 20s who writes about her struggles with depression and anxiety and how our God's been there for her. And even while I can't relate to her life I relate some to what she struggles with. Don't worry, I'm not depressed or anything but I've realized how much I deal with anxiety. I just thought of it as overthinking before. It creeps up on me when I feel okay in my own skin and tells me I really should be doing something else, thinking something else, saying something else or feeling something else. As if there was one right way to do things! Rachel talks about how her anxiety, her need for perfection, to keep it all together wears her out. It's the same for me. I have...
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Ramblings from a 17 year old Rose... I'm not sure how to write about this but I'm gonna try. I feel as if I'm missing something, as if I should really be doing, thinking, feeling, or saying something else. And that puts a weight on me; it makes me feel as if I'm screwing up my life. I feel as if everything I do is being judged. It makes me feel as if I'm separated from God. Because how could God let me go through this? I'm so tired of it! I don't know how to get rid of it. How can I feel whole? I'm restless, irritated, dissatisfied. Is there something that's standing between God and me? Is that why I'm dealing with this? I don't know what to do,think,feel or say. But praise be to God... who I know will bring me through this, who hasn't abandoned me in my mess. The mess of insecurity. God's grace is sufficient for me. He loves me. Even when I feel as if I'm a mess, when I'm bloated from too much sugar and not enough water, h...
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