AUNT-HOOD.
I am so thankful for the thing that is aunthood. I have learned so much about others, Lord, the world and my place in it through this lovely bizarre thing.
For those who don't know I have 20 nieces and nephews. My first nephew was born when I was 7.
People kept nagging me about it which I was both pleased and annoyed with. Did I think it was weird? How'd I feel about it? What did I want to be called? Aunt, Ant?
Um neither. Please. So weird. Then this little kid was born.
Cael.
A shock of black hair.
Freckles.
I loved and love him so.
I took pictures with my first ever Kodac camera.
Man his skin was pink!
So thankful that humourous, affectionate, passionately intense, class clown goofball of a now 14-year old (WHAT.EVEN.) was born. Really starting to live up to his nick-name..Caelman. Gives SUCH good hugs. The first to make me an Aunt.
Aunt Rose, Aunt Rosie. Now two of the most beloved words in my life.
I love you always. 14.
Thomas.
Born a little later.
Had a blue flower pacifier.
Came from the Philippines,
Lot's of video chats.
His birth was hard, I remember a lot of prayers.
Determined, ambitious, sarcastic, secretly oh so tenderly sensitive to the feelings of those he loves. What a guy. Fun facts, first diaper I ever changed, haha good thing he doesn't have fb. Also, I tried to teach him to read for a year. I think he had that covered on his own though, so frikin smart. When he says the words, "I love you Aunt Rose", I burst into tears, no joke.
I love you always. 14.
Gillian.
Oh goodness. What can you say about Gillian Mae?
She is a girl after my own heart. Her due date was my birthday, until she decided to come early. Mustache on her self portrait. Anti-Fashion club. Recites random quirky poetry. Considerate of others. Staying up to the wee hours of the morning reading in an elves cap (of her making I'm guessing).
I love you always. 13.
Shannon.
Shan-dar. Finally Born. After sitting at long Hounsel Kitchen Table and watching much Pride and Prejudice. Remember when your parents proudly announced you existed. Remember the grin on your mothers face. Me and your Aunt Norabee were so excited. Goodness. Seeing this girl grow up has been so beautiful yet bizarre. So very different from myself. Knew which shoes belong to which people by the age of 2. Things must be done in order. High-Strung, yet learning how to live each day with grace for herself and others. Blunt, constantly caring, wicked sense of humor, Shannon.
I love you always. 12.
Olivia.
All I remember from your birth is when we drove home and Tom would not stop crying, hyperventilating for you and your parents. He loves you so.
Hehe. Oh Livia, Livie. I relate to you so. Loud and outgoing in your love for others. Never stop that, k? It's a good thing. You have grown in that too. Knowing when to just care by listening, a skill you have acquired. You already know your skill with a brush makes me jealous. I'm working on that, promise, just not there yet. You have so much ability to see the happy and colorful in life and fully embrace it. Your letters always melt my heart, moving beyond my defenses that I wasn't even aware were there. You love well my dear.
I love you always. 12.
Lucien.
Lushmagoosh.
I don't honestly remember much about your birth. Besides being sad that I couldn't be there.
Boy...I love you. Your way of taking in the world, twisting it around in your head, examining every angle and then translating it into your own words...well it blows me away. "You see the Holy Ghost in broad daylight, and I see the reflection in your eyes"
Also...your facial expressions never fail to CRACK ME UP.
I love you always. 9.
Judah.
Oh Judah..you are one of a kind. When you love me it feels like such an honor. So much like your Uncle John. When you snuggle up next to me I know I've been trusted with a great treasure. Everyone needs a Judahbear. Always take your time to warmup but once you do...fiercely loyal. And so funny..your humor always surprises me. Just as humor should. Also, those monopoly skills kinda terrify me.
I love you always. 9.
Sophie.
Sophie Marie. Shy smile, secretly snarky. "There is a whole world shining brightly behind her shy."
I didn't get to see you when you were born, too small.
I remember holding you in the middle of the night though. Watching you when you were still so little with your Aunt Ruth. Afraid I would break you. Shouldn't have been worried, you are so strong. Brave. Bold, once you can shut up your fear.
Back to that smile...hon...no words.
Can always depend on you for physical affection, yay for fellow touchy-feely clingy people! You give the sweetest of hugs.
I love you always. 9.
Sadie.
Sadie Nichole. He.He.He. That is the sound I think of when I think of you. Your toothy grin lights up my life with love. Your freckles are skin stars, beautiful galaxies. I did get to hold you when you were born. Went to Mcdonalds afterward in case you're interested. The way you raise your one eyebrow takes mad skill. I get that face from you a lot..couldn't guess why...Your giggle is a sound I want playing on repeat. For like hours. So much warmth. One of my favorite sounds. You are daring. Rock Climbers, you and Soph. I was so proud of you when you did the wall at Camp Hanover. When you both first learned to ride a bike I had the honor of being there. One of my favorite memories. Can't wait to be there alongside you for more firsts.
I love you always. 9.
Aaron.
Oh you. Kid. You know you love me even though you can't admit it now. There is a deep bond between us. Sorry, can't get rid of me even if you actually wanted to. Also I'm not actually sorry. My Jumping Jack. I don't remember you being born...I'm sorry! They all kinda blur together.
I remember a lot after though!
We've done so much together, you've tried out so much of your potty humor on me, and it's been hard not to laugh cause you have perfect delivery. You and your dad...sheesh. You never fail to crack me up. I don't even know why. You just never do. When you cried in the night and I came in to comfort you...I felt what God's love really is. The warmth of tenderly cupping a mug of tea in palms mixed with a fierce underground river.
That wavy blond hair and blue eyes though. You once asked me to marry you, do you remember? I'm sorry I'm interested in someone else now... but again, with your looks and humor? You're not gonna have much trouble. Oh dear...those poor girls...
I love you always. 8...?
Liam.
Liammcneim. So boo-ti-ful! What you said when looking up at a tree I was sketching. That comment pretty much sums you up.
A boy with a deep appreciation for the beauty in this life.
Your another one I don't remember the birth of but who I've made a lot of memories with afterward. I remember holding you as an infant against my chest while your parents put Lucien to bed and...it was beautiful. Pretty sure I introduced you to Grey's Anatomy around that time too. Just keep that between you and me, k?
Kid. You are intense. Every aspect of your personality is filled with undiluted passion. Passion for all the aspects that this life brings us. I never know how you feel about me. But I am certain of how I feel about you. Your art makes my heart sing. When you call me an artist and I see the way you look up to that part of me it makes me believe I can really do this crazy thing. So trusting of me. I love adventuring with you into the creat unknown of life.
I cannot wait for more.
I love you always. 8...?
Jacob.
Boy. You make my heart soar like the birds that you always had an eye to see, even before you could speak. You pointed, always considering the sparrow. You have the funniest, wisest observations to make. You and Lucien are quite the pair.
Though I don't remember you being born I do have this convo with Aunt Ruth:
me: I gotta go babysit, bye!
Ruth: babysit who?
me: T+O
Ruth: fun
me: uhuh
Ruth: do they know what they're having yet?
Ruth: cat, dog, sheep,
Ruth: possibly human
me: haha, that took me a second. They're not sure
me: yet
Ruth: when do they find out?
me: not sure, Thomas would say less than a month
Glad you turned out to be a human.
You take the word at face value. You love to run. You run well. That smile. I can't wait to see it again.
I love you always. 7...?
Rozzy.
I don't remember your birth, but boy do I remember your adoption. Soon to happen! So happy. Honey. I love you. My lion-hearted girl. My pandaboo. Though you haven't grown up with me you love me fiercely and for that I am grateful.
You are quite the personality. So good for your mother like your mother's good for you. Thankful for our bonding time this summer. Dance parties, art sessions, fairy house buildings, wild foal sightings, and ridings! What a summer we had. When I see you working through your hurt to heal, it inspires me to fight for my healing too. You will not be told what to do. Which I get. I do. You say your sorry, and you mean it. Deeply. You cry when you think you have hurt someone. Hon...the battles you fight? Most would lose. And yet here you are. Still fighting.
I love you ALWAYS. 7...?
Full disclosure. I've given up on trying to remember the order.
Triston.
In total honesty, I wish I knew you better love. I do remember when your birth was announced though! I was outside and there was a talk about St. Patricks day. I'm glad I got to see you a couple Thanksgivings or so ago. Speaking of funny facial expressions..you have the best ones. I really need to see you again soon..ok?
I love you always. 5...?
Allisdar.
Ally. Ally Cat. My little buddy. You and I have been through so much. Do you remember that time I stayed up all night with you? We saw a deer under the stars and it was the only thing that kept you from continuing your wailing. You got real quiet. Or when I pulled you around and around in the wagon until you fell asleep and I took you inside and you somehow managed to stay asleep on my chest. The BEST feeling. You make fun of my hiccups. You make us all laugh with your zeal for pretty much everything. You drive your mother crazy because you want to debate EVERYTHING. Which I get. You can get so quite though when your feelings have been hurt not just a little but a lot and the sadness outweighs the madness and you're trying to convince me of why I should step in on your wounded behalf. You have a real gusto for life. You battle Stratego like nobody's business.
I love you always. 5...?
Asher.
Hehehe. You're another one of those gigglers. I think it must come from the Hounsel genes. They definitely run strong in you. Your grin...makes my life better, always. You are the tough guy. I couldn't say that with a straight face I'm sorry. You are so kind. I know wanting you to speak the way you speak now forever is kinda mean, but like if you could, that'd be great. Cause your language is so good. I remember your birth cause I and Mammie watched your siblings, we all got cupcakes, and Aaron refused to look at you. Which was really funny. He just looked at his cupcake and sat on your daddy's lap with his back to you. Oh, poor Jumping Jack. I think he appreciates you now though. Especially when you join his team against me during nerf gun wars. Which I resent still just so we're clear. I remember one time laying beside you trying to get you to go to sleep and you just wouldn't. REFUSED. Then I sang "May the Lord, bless you and keep you, may he shine his light upon you, and give you rest" And boom. You were out. Thanks God, appreciate that one.
You love giving hugs. That better not change or I'll get real sad.
I love you always. 5...?
Tesla.
I almost typed Tigger cause that's what I think of you as. My tigger. When I imagined my brother having a baby all I could think of was a tiger hence tigger. Ladybird. I don't remember your birth. But I remember holding you cradled in my arms in the basement, the warmth of your small body against my arms. I remember when you were a little older trying to get you to sleep in the dark of the closet. It took FOREVER. Your body paralleled to my own, your scream resounding in my ear endlessly. But when you did that sense of relief, whoo. That's a real high. The worlds you create in your head bring me right back to the worlds me and you daddy created and by me and your daddy I mostly mean your daddy. You are determined. Stubborn. Kind. You want to marry Jacob because he is so kind to you. You wrote my name on a picture and it was the first time you had written anyone's name but your own. That broke through my depression hon. When not much could. I knew that was something worth celebrating.
I love you always. 5...?
Julian.
Julie! Kid. Our first redhead. Mammies pride and joy. Her praying and dreaming finally paid off with you. You are joy. That's the first word that comes to mind, JOY. I was the first one your Mama told about you being alive, way back in Alabama. You were the first baby of your parents born in Richmond. The first one I got to see as an itty bitty. I came over your parent's house after work, your Mama looked so very tired yet so very content. You light up a room. Your curiosity is real strong. Mealtime is never a bore with you. I miss you trying to steal off my plate. Well more like borrow, you give me your chewed up hotog for my cheesy noodles. Seems fair. You are the dancing king. I remember once you broke out dancing randomly during the middle of a song and kid, you were perfectly in time with the rhythm of the music. Perfectly. You are a sweet kid.
Checking in on your big brothers, usually after you've mashed them over the head, but that's beside the point.
I love you always. 2.
Ansley.
Lovely. You are. Lovely. We were all waiting for your parents to have a kid with bated breath (your poor parents). Your father and mother are two of the most loving people I know. Then there is you. An offshoot of their love. So very evident in you. I was in my art room where I was teaching putting out supplies when I heard that your mother was in labor. I listened to sleeping at last's songs "life" and "daughter" dancing around the room my heart soaring with my feet as I thought of you and the beauty and light you would bring into this world. I wish I made more time to visit with you over the past year. Your father's face when we walked into your house, newborn you upstairs...it was a thing of beauty. It resembled that of a happy puppy dog. I've never gotten the line, "that person is glowing!" But your father was GLOWING. I swear. Your happy babble is beautiful, your intense stare understandable.
I love you always. 1.
The not here with us yet one.
"I didn't know I could love a soul before I even knew their name."
I love you always. 0
The nieces and nephews who were formed in their mother's wombs but whom we never got to hold in our arms.
I miss you. We mourned you not being here with us. We still mourn that. Thankful you are in our Fathers arms, and one day you will be in ours.
I love you always. Various ages. No longer subject to time.
"The world is brighter than the sun
Now that you're here.
Though your eyes will need some time to adjust
To the overwhelming light surrounding us,
I'll give you everything I have.
I'll teach you everything I know.
I promise I'll do better.
I will always hold you close,
But I will learn to let you go.
I promise I'll do better.
I will soften every edge,
I'll hold the world to its best,
And I'll do better.
With every heartbeat I have left
I will defend your every breath,
And I'll do better.
'Сause you are loved.
You are loved more than you know.
I hereby pledge all of my days
To prove it so.
Though your heart is far too young to realize
The unimaginable light you hold inside"
-Sleeping At Last.
I love you all always.
-Aunt Rosie xoxo
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