Ramblings from a 17 year old Rose...
...And it doesn't help to say just act normal, be yourself, follow your heart, blah blah, yadda yadda. Because I'm all over the place! I don't know who I am. I'm different with different people. That's why it's so important that I don't stress about being myself. My identity, all that I am is in Christ. I'm still learning what that means. But all I have to worry about is following Christ 'cause that's what I was made for! That's when I'm most like me! 'Cause who I am is founded in who made me and his plans for my life. Just the thought of that freeing.
I feel like a tiny window has been opened in my brain and there is a small ray of light breaking into my mess silencing the thoughts that plague me. And it's just a little light. The dust will rise up and fill it. But that's what the light does. It shows the dust for what it is, lies! A waste of the brain God gave me.
Even if the light goes dim I know it was once there and I won't forget it. My life's work is to pry up that window and let the light pour through. To reveal the layers of dust that have gathered up so I can clean them out or at least realize that they're not supposed to be there. That's the first step: realizing that the dust is just dead ideas and dirt. It can't hurt me. God will give it a spring cleaning when I go home to him.
'Till then I need to curl up like a cat in the sunbeams of God's love. In the warmth where the dust can't touch me, can't block out God's truth.
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