Let's talk about sex. I'm going to have conversations with my girls about sex.
There's a book I remember reading where a girl's felt up by a man,molested. I was aroused by it, feeling guilty and twisted and not understanding how I could feel good about something so bad. Rape is such a perversion and mixed up with arousal and "if she liked it or her body felt something then she is the one who should feel shame." All the feelings are mixed up. We talk about the dangers of sexual desires so much (understandably) but we don't come in with what is good. Or just normal.
What is good sex? What is sex apart from guilt? What is sex that allows for arousal without being accompanied by perversion? What is it to have sex (even in marriage) and not have your nerves feel like they shouldn't be enjoying this a much as they are? What is it to break down shame culture that will not let your body and mind answer the first question with, "this, this is good sex." ? What is sex that feels good both in body and soul?
I can't even say the word arousal and not feel taboo. God is both confronting my perversions and putting a balm on my shame. Telling me he made it to be good. He didn't make it to be touching behind bathroom doors, hands down pants, wanting to feel something besides stress.
But also. Arousal does not = guilt.
So talk to me about arousal. Talk to me about how my body was made to feel a thrill when anticipating skin against skin and man coming in. Talk to me about how I'm designed, clusters of nerves aligned to feel good. This was how I was made and that too is good. Talk to be about how I can look out this window, see the lilac bushes and feel a sense of wonder at the beauty of that green and purple together without feeling weird about writing about sex at the same time because both are equally beautiful and, dare I say it, pure. God made 'em both.
We need to talk about good sex so we won't be tricked into settling for anything less. Also so we can experience it when the opportunity comes without that guilt that was not given by God. That guilt belongs to the "devil's playground", not my bodie's natural instincts.
Okay random rant done, for now.
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